Do the bakar
Trash
A hate letter by a cigarette
31 year ago
by Chatur Chandan
in Trash
Email Correspondent: Chatur Chandan
Dear Quitter,
Remember me? Of course you do! You can’t take your eyes off me even now and still you can do nothing. You shameless prick! You have changed but I haven’t. This letter is not for you to take me back but to remind you of the good times that you are missing.
I was once the only part of your life when you felt truly relaxed. I was there with you when you were depressed, there when you were celebratory and also there when you had nothing else to do. I was the first thing that you looked for when you woke up and was, most of the time, the last thing you held when you tried to sleep.
I remember the times when you used to say that your mornings were incomplete without me and the times when you walked in the middle of the night to search for me. I tolerated your every mood, even when you bared me and made me into a joint. Still what gave you the happiness, gave me pleasure.
People used to say a lot a stuff about me but it never changed your affection towards me. Not even when I was called a cheap slut who can give you life threatening diseases. I remember you used to say “Its not cheap anymore”
Then things started to change one day, the day when you brought that bitch into your life. I could see just from her expressions, she hated me. She didn’t like the fact that I was always closer to your heart. Its not that you didn’t try. You tried to patch things between her and me and have a threesome, but some things are just not meant to be. Please inform her that if she doesn’t enjoy me, it is not due to some problem with me, it is because she is doing it wrong.
Then started our secret meetings. At that time also I didn’t mind being the other person in your life. Sadly, like all other secrets of life, this secret was also disclosed one day. That started the trend of our “one last meetings”. You used to hold me like you really believed that you will never hold me again and I also tried to give you full pleasure till I lasted.
Then came the day when we were caught red handed. I was too happy that for once you will face the reality and show some balls, but you caved in.
Its been so many months since then, you have even married that ignorant bitch now! Nowadays whenever you find some other person holding me, I can see the twitch in your eyes but then you seem to show that you have moved on.
You are not the first person that has left me, but unlike many, you have left me not with your will but under pressure from a certain other, whom you knew for just few weeks. For once I hoped that you could have been man enough and told her that leaving me is your decision not hers.
With me gone I always think how do you face your dear friends Peggu and Beeru? Or have you ditched them too? Please if you are planning to leave them too then, for once, be a man and quit by yourself without taking orders from the high command.
Yours lovingly,
Ciggy
Source: http://bit.ly/ameQJa
Michievous Brothers
02 years ago
by Chatur Chandan
in Trash
Email Correspondent : Chatur Chandan
Two little boys, ages 8 and 10, are excessively mischievous. They are always getting into trouble and their parents know all about it. If any mischief occurs in their town, the two boys are probably involved.
The boys’ mother heard that a preacher in town had been successful in disciplining children, so she asked if he would speak with her boys. The preacher agreed, but he asked to see them individually.
So the mother sent the 8 year old first, in the morning, with the older boy to see the preacher in the afternoon.
The preacher, a huge man with a booming voice, sat the younger boy down and asked him sternly,
“Do you know where God is, son?”
The boy’s mouth dropped open, but he made no response, sitting there wide-eyed with his mouth hanging open.
So the preacher repeated the question in an even sterner tone, “Where is God?!”
Again, the boy made no attempt to answer. The preacher raised his voice even more and shook his finger in the boy’s face and bellowed,
“Where is God?!”
The boy screamed and bolted from the room, ran directly home and dove into his closet, slamming the door behind him.
When his older brother found him in the closet, he asked, “what happened?”
The younger brother, gasping for breath, replied, “We are in BIG trouble this time.
GOD is missing, and they think we did it!
First time huh?
02 years ago
by Chatur Chandan
in Trash
Email Correspondent – Chatur Chandan
A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night and have dinner with her parents. Since this is such a big event, the girl announces to her boyfriend that after dinner, she would like to go out and make love
for the first time.
Well, the boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get some condoms. He tells the pharmacist it’s his first time and the pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour.
He tells the boy everything there is to know about condoms and sex.
At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many condoms he’d like to buy, a 3-pack, 10-pack, or family pack. The boy insists on the family pack because he thinks he will be rather busy, it being his
first time and all.
* * * * * * * * *
That night, the boy shows up at the girl’s parents house and meets his girlfriend at the door. “Oh, I’m so excited for you to meet my parents, come on in!”
The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table where the girl’s parents are seated. The boy quickly offers to say grace and bows his head.
A minute passes, and the boy is still deep in prayer, with his head down.
10 minutes pass, and still no movement from the boy.
Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the girlfriend leans over and whispers to the boyfriend, “I had no idea you were this religious.”
The boy turns, and whispers back, “I had no idea your father was a pharmacist.”
Just Rajni!
12 years ago
Correspondent Chatur Chandan has been involved in deep research about the South Indian legend since over a year. With the help of some other great admirers from “Simply Chennai” he was able to compile some unique facts about his favoritest actor! Here we present the compilation for all:
How to get dumped by your girlfriend on valentine’s day?
61. Gift her a coupon to ‘VLCC Lose 5 kgs in 10 days’ .. “Darling, you keep on saying, you are getting fat.. here is the solution”
2. Write some other girl’s name on the gift and give it to her.
3. Take her to a candle lit dinner at a restaurant in the locality of ‘bajrangdal’ people. Rest of the work will be done by them.
4. Gift her a dress of XXL size.
5. Make her pay for the lavish dinner you have on the valentine’s day.
6. Starting from 12.00 am stop attending her calls/ replying to her messages.
or
7. Simplest one: Don’t get her any one of these things as valentine’s gift: Roses, Chocolates, Teddy bears, Cards.
Well guys this is my first attempt at writing on bakaristan. I wanted to add more but couldn’t. So it will be nice if you share some your views/bakar on this topic.
Happy bakaring! 
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