Entertainment

Awesome Indian Things – Part 2

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Astrologers who say that you are going to be  an engineer for sure but u end up being a English teacher

Haryana cost of buffalo: 18,000 – 24,000 Rupees Haryana cost of girl (human trafficking): 4000 Rupees

Speed breakers and Potholes make every ride in your vehicle a disney theme ride

The Holi, Diwali, Makar Sakranti, Durga Pooja, Janmashtmi and the list goes on …

Most favorite dialogue of Hindi Cinema “Main tumhaare bachche ki maa banane waali hoon…”

bargaining for 2 rupees from sabziwala but tipping 200 @ valet parking

In India we have two type of Indians “North Indians and South Indians”. Everything below Madhya Pradesh is for South Indians while above it is North India.

 

 

Awesome Indian Things

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28 States, 7 Territories. 1618 languages, 6400 castes, 6 religions, 6 ethnic groups, 29 major festivals & 1 country!

In foreign countries, u can kiss in public, but can’t piss..in India u can’t kiss in public,but u can piss wherever

Saris : What’s sexy, modest, graceful, classic, cool, hot, well-ventilated and gorgeous all at the same time?

Jalebi: No Angrej has ever figured it out how the “Ras” went inside it.

SEX for INDIA will alwz be a “Dirty Thing”. Still we have 130 Crore Population…

Badly spelt menus. and hoardings, shop names, but still we speak better english than half of the western world.

Addressing hubby as “munni ke papa, Arrey Sunte Ho, Suno Ji, Suniye na”

No matter what, stop ur bike two feet after the stop line in a traffic signal and start off three secs before green

Mahabharata – longest poem in the world with 100000 stanzas..eight times longer than Homer’s two epics – combined

N.O.I.S.E. (Naturally Over Inflated Sense of Entitlement)

Ability to accept Pak’s immeasurable abuse and violence as fate.

Kumbh mela where most of the actors lost theri siblings

Checking the berth no on train chart before boarding your bogie to see if you are around young girls

One thousand ppl playing cricket in a single ground

Blaming  politicians when you trip over a stone or for any godamn thing happens in country

Films that are designed to make you sob like a toddler within 10 minutes.

Movie Bloopers

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Kabhi Khushi Kabhie Gham
How quickly Kajol and her friend were able to take the sweets from Chandni Chowk to the mahal given that SRK drove in to give medicine earlier.

just before the song “U R my sonia”, kareena calls for her friends with her phone, when they emerge in the club with thier phone hooked on their ears. Nothing abnormal, only one problem….how does kareena manage to call both of her friends simultaneously with a single mobile phone??? also kareena was wearing un matched shoes before leaving the house and then suddenly she had matched shoes in the club….

Kal ho na ho
When Preity Removed Her Glasses While Dancin for ‘Its da time to disco’ or whatever its called She Could see Clearly But Later She Wasn’t Able to see When Shah Rukh Removed Her Specz

Swades

Throughout the film Gayatri Joshi has straight hair but in the Ram-Leela song her hair is crimped. Where did she
find a beauty parlour in that remote village?

kaho na pyar hai

In the movie Kaho Naa Pyar Hai, the 2nd Hrithik sings the climax song “Dil Ne Dil Ko” and in the end of the song he sings Kaho Naa Pyar Hai. Ok I understand that he got the song from the 1st Hrithik’s song folder or whatever. But how did he know the dance routine they did on the beach????????????

but this is my favourite one, that i only realised when watching k3g the other day,The Mother Of All Flaws, is when Hrithik is a kid he has 10 fingers…when he grows up he has Eleven

also The obese Laddu turns into Hrithik 10 years later who is like a stick, however Shahrukh, Kajol, Dadi, Nani and Johny Lever,jaya,big B look the same after 10 years!!

You can Add more bloopers here.

Shit Happens in World Religion

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  • TAOISM: Shit happens.
  • CONFUCIANISM: Confucius say, “Shit happens”.
  • ZEN: (What is the sound of shit happening?)
  • JESUITISM: If shit happens and when nobody is watching, is it really shit?
  • ISLAM: Shit happens if it is the will of Allah.
  • COMMUNISM: Equal shit happens to all people
  • CATHOLICISM: Shit happens because you are bad.
  • PSYCHOANALYSIS: Shit happens because of your toilet training.
  • SCIENTOLOGY: Shit happens if you’re on our shit list.
  • ZOROASTRIANISM: Bad shit happens, and good shit happens.
  • UNITARIANISM: Maybe shit happens. Let’s have coffee and donuts.
  • RIGHT-WING PROTESTANTISM: Let this shit happen to someone else.
  • JUDAISM: Why does shit always happen to US?
  • REFORM JUDAISM: Got any Kaopectate?
  • MYSTICISM: What weird shit!
  • AGNOSTICISM: What is this shit?
  • ATHEISM: I don’t believe this shit!
  • NIHILISM: Who needs this shit?
  • AZTEC: Cut out this shit!
  • QUAKER: Let’s not fight over this shit.
  • FORTEANISM: No shit??
  • 12-STEP: I am powerless to cut the shit.
  • VOODOO: Hey, that shit looks just like you!
  • NEWAGE: Visualize shit not happening.
  • DEISM: Shit just happens.
  • EXISTENTIALISM: Shit doesn’t happen; shit is.
  • SECULAR HUMANISM: Shit evolves.
  • CHRISTIAN SCIENCE: Shit is in your mind.
  • BUDDHISM: Shit happens, but pay no mind.
  • SHINTOISM: Shit is everywhere.
  • HINDUISM: This shit has happened before.
  • WICCA: Mix this shit together and make it happen!
  • HASIDISM: Shit never happens the same way twice.
  • THEOSOPHY: You don’t know half of the shit that happens.
  • DIANETICS: Your mother gave you shit before you were born.
  • SEVENTH DAY ADVENTIST: No shit on Saturdays.
  • JEHOVAH’S WITNESSES: No shit happens until Armageddon.
  • MOONIES: Only happy shit really happens.
  • HOPI: Corn fertilizer happens.
  • BAHA’I: It’s all the same shit.
  • STOICISM: This shit is good for me.
  • OBJECTIVISM: Our shit is good for you.
  • EST: If my shit bothers you, that’s your fault.
  • REAGANISM: Don’t move; the shit will trickle down.
  • FASCISM: Shit makes the trains run on time.
  • CARGO CULT: A barge will come and take all the shit away.
  • EMACS: Hold down Control-Meta-Shit.
  • DISCORDIANISM: Some funny shit happened to me today.
  • RASTAFARIANISM: Let’s smoke this shit.
  • CHARISMATIC: This is not shit and it doesn’t smell bad.MASONIC: Shit happens, but we can’t discuss it during Lodge.
  • RED CROSS: Shit happens – send money.
  • EVANGELICAL: Praise God in spite of this shit cause this shit ain’t gonna last much longer.Courtsey: http://bit.ly/1Akx6Q

Rajnikanth Special

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Rajanikanth makes onions cry.

Rajanikanth can delete the Recycling Bin.

Ghosts are actually caused by Rajanikanth killing people faster than Death can process them.

Rajanikanth can strangle you with a cordless phone.

Rajanikanth can play the violin…… …with a piano.

When Rajanikanth enters a room, he doesn’t turn the lights on,……… ….
he turns the dark off.

When Rajanikanth looks in a mirror the mirror shatters, because not even
glass is stupid enough to get in between Rajanikanth and Rajanikanth.

Brett Favre can throw a football over 50 yards. Rajanikanth can throw Brett
Favre even further.

Rajanikanth does not know where you live, but he knows where you will die.

Bullets dodge Rajanikanth.

A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Rajanikanth and that you will be handicapped if you park there.

Rajanikanth’ calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd, no one fools Rajanikanth.

If you spell Rajanikanth wrong on Google it doesn’t say, “Did you mean
Rajanikanth?” It simply replies, “Run while you still have the chance.”

Once a cobra bit Rajanikanth’ leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the
cobra died.

When Rajanikanth gives you the finger, he’s telling you how many seconds you
have left to live.

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