Dummies Guide to Naming a Baby

I couldn’t resist sending this right now..so here it is …

Dummies Guide to Naming a Baby (MPNC Theorem)

One should follow the following steps before naming a child:

1 Size of the name

It should not contain more than 2 syllables. It will be simpler and easier for others to call out his name rightly and more often. Compare Ross (1 syllable) with Joey (2 syllable) and Chandler (3 syllable). We definitely love the first two more then the third one. Further, the name brings more popularity among the ladies (this point will be covered in details in the subsequent sections).

2 Number of characters in the name

The number of letters in the name should be adequate (not more, not less..but adequate). Whats an adequate? Glad you asked…Well adequate is something which is like a knicker..not too short when it becomes hot pants/ undy or too long that it becomes a three-fourth. So is the case with the name…it should contain exactly the right number of letters…tht one could easily remember. Next question here is ..how many letter then?..Well..how many letters are there in your ATM pin…4..maximum 5 or 6..How many minimum characters are required when you set up a password to an e-mail account…6. I did some research to find out the length of names from a sample set of ~2500 boy names…The results are as follows:
Number of Characters Percentage of the total Sample
4 2%
5 9%
6 19%
7 19%
8 15%

Clearly, we should try to keep the length to a minimum till 5 or 6 (maximum).. Increase the length and the zone is going to be crowded with dudes all over. Now, lets see the same result from a sample set of girl names:
Number of Characters Percentage of the total Sample
4 5%
5 13%
6 27%
7 21%
8 14%

Clearly the difference is maximum if the length should not be more than six letters otherwise its just weird.

3 Starting alphabet of the name

Well if some pundit has provided an alphabet than we are bound to have a name starting with that letter. But if we are going random about it. Then probably we can put our brains to use here as well. The letter should be chosen in such a way that it provides the kid with high probability of being around girls ..like all the time..(yes I know you are thinking that I am a jackass ..but no child of mine or my friends’ will go through the torture that we all went through in our schools….ever again). Imagine him sitting in a class getting ready for attendance or in a lab where the partners are chosen on the basis of their roll nos. (decided by alphabet) or in an exam room where the sitting arrangement is as per the roll nos. or the sitting arrangement in daily class …the dude gotta feel jealous of his friend who has a name starting with a letter which brings that dude more chances of being next to/ before a girl’s name. I think you got my point. Then lets talk statistics here as well…


If you can see this, clearly, the letters S, M, L and J (these are the letter with more number of girl names as compared to boys) provides him better chances.
4 People should be able to pronounce it rightly in other countries – I am too tired to build up on this..so understand yourself…
5 Surname should compliment it..I have seen people not using surnames as they grow up …I have never understood this fully but lets not take this lightly…its a family name…we all are proud of our family


Our understanding from these points so far – It should either be a mono syllable or a 2 syllable name with not more not more than 6 letters and probably starting with S and easy to pronounce everywhere and is complimented by the surname. Now the file attached contains the list of all the 6 letter names starting with S (along with meaning). I have not got time to further filter these out on the basis of the number of syllables. But I think you can do the rest!!

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