Who are we? Part-3

Never imagined such a good response on the posts! It was overwhelming and I am sure Bakar Bugs will enjoy this post. Continuing from where we left last time some more observations.

1) Somebody always dare ya !

We have this inbuilt microchip in our head which make us do things which  have been denied.

Place where you are not supposed to Park your Car is submerged with every possible  vehicle in the world while children are playing cricket in parking lot. Who the hell told you to stop at Red light and when its a green light you are supposed to stop and talk over phone 😉

If trespassing is not allowed somewhere it becomes the most congested way.You are supposed to be in the queue while taking any Goddamn ticket or submitting form or whatever. and by Queue we mean stronger ones on the window on top of each other and weaklings waiting 10 feet away from the BULL FIGHT.

You can see the “Paan peek” (spitting) on a wall and if you will look closely you will see its written “PLEASE DON’T SPIT”  and hey ! why that Dustbin is so neat and clean while the garbage is all over the place.

On top of all the things is  ” PUBLIC URINATION”  Need I say more, I have seen people looking for only those places where its written “Yaha P*** karna mana hai” to let loose… I mean what the hell!

In buses, Male will always sit on the seats  reserved for Ladies, while every other lady wants to first occupy not so reserved Male seats.

When you are supposed to drive with a speed limit of 20 KM, because of Parallax error you read it wrong and drive over 120 KM. You only HONK at places where you are not supposed to and will always be opposite of silent in the silent zone. “No Cellphone” zones will have highest number of Mobile phone activity while “No camera” zone are Flashed every microsecond.

And still here we are Enjoying these small Adventures.

2. Our Family

My Family has, Papa, Mummy, Bhaiyya Bhabhi, Didi, Jijaji, Tau, Tai, Chacha Chachi, Dada, Dadi, Nana, Nani, Mama, Mami, Bhatija Bhatiji, Bhanja, Bhanji, Mausi, Mausa, Fufa, Bhua, BLAH BLAH… and wait these are only my Blood Relatives. The other plethora of relatives are much more fun though, Devar, Devrani, Jeth, Jathani, Sala, Sali, Sas, Sasur, Tai-sas, Tau-sasur, Chacha-sasur, Chachi-sas, Mausi-sas, Mausa-sasur, Bhua Sas, Fufa -Sasur, …(you keep on remembering such relations and I will make a tea till then) 😛

oh Gosh even the super computer will Crash while figuring out the relations and the strings and believe me its Extremely adventurous when I leave for outstation and while standing on the Railway Platform I  realize that The cost of Platform Tickets are actually more than my Travel Ticket 😛

3) We are cheaply Extravagant

Trademark Conversation between “Vegetable Vendor and Indians”

I: “Aloo Kya bhav diye” (what is Potato rate)

V: 18 Rs Kilo, “Badhiya hai bauji, bilkul taZa” (Its fresh and good)

I: “Sahi lagao Bhaiya, udhar to 17 mein hi de raha hai” (Please give the correct cost, the other person is giving in 17)

V: “Bauji Kharidi ka bhav hai chalo 17:50 de dena le lo” (Sir, its the cost price, well give 17.5 and take it)

Cut to MultiPlex theater and here is the conversation:

I: how much is the Alloo Tikki burger?

V: 60 Rs.

I: Give two..

so here it is, we always negotiate for a rupee or paisa but can spend hundreds without even thinking. Actually our local vendors are subjected to such torture but what the heck, if you won’t negotiate they will think something is wrong with you 😉

4) Holidays and festivals

In India we have 36 Crores Gods/ Godesses which we worship.  Some random calculations suggests that Every Second we are celebrating birth of 12 gods (though their liberation, nirvan, etc. etc. are not considered here), these celebrations have become festivals over the period of time and since we  are such a religious nation we want Holiday for every festival, so in a way employers should be hanged till death for not abiding by our religious sentiments.

Oh I forgot, In India Most of the festivals are based upon some incidents and since i am not that smart at MATH, Please do the math and let me know if employers need to be tortured also …:P

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