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Resign Design

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3 months ago
by anurag in

Dear All,

As expected, I did Google for 1.5 hours on internet to get the perfect ‘bye-bye’ e-mail in place. However, couldn’t find any…apparently there was just one e-mail available that came up again and again in top search results 90% of the time.

What a waste of time and band-width.

I am sorry, for those of you who don’t know me…I am Champak Chauhan (ex-XYZ 1983) and have once sat where you are sitting right now. Yes, that’s right, been all over the place except in some select cabins (still a long way to get there).

Anyway, back to my tale, so I wasted almost 4 hours in just conducting secondary research, independent thinking and sutta breaks (+ 3 short snack breaks)….and could not get even a single line..not even a ‘Hi’. By the way, an interesting finding, if you keep staring at a double digit number on your computer screen for more than an hour..the digits will start moving towards their respective corners on the screen.

So, this made me think of all the things I could have done in the same time (4 hours) on one of those days at my workstation (ex-XYZ F 024). (Refer to the time split pie-chart) 

Well, a finding it may be, but this is what I will miss the most about working in this company. I learned so much in such a little amount of time. I will always remain grateful to the senior colleagues for providing me an opportunity to perform and ignoring the tantrums that I have shown over the years. I am thankful to the ‘not so senior colleagues’ for letting me work with them and tolerating me wherever I was intolerable. And last but not the least, the junior colleagues, thanks for your support and agreeing to adhere to my dictatorship. To the new folks, I wish I had more time to interact with you.

I enjoyed working with all of you. It has been an interesting journey and I take pride in being part of the practice.

Feel free to call, IM, email, tweet, or stop by for dinner/ lunch/ skype party anytime. I look forward to staying in touch and helping you succeed in your own individual quests for world domination.

Bye Bye!

Dummies Guide to Naming a Baby

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3 months ago
by admin in

I couldn’t resist sending this right now..so here it is …

Dummies Guide to Naming a Baby (MPNC Theorem)

One should follow the following steps before naming a child:

1 Size of the name

It should not contain more than 2 syllables. It will be simpler and easier for others to call out his name rightly and more often. Compare Ross (1 syllable) with Joey (2 syllable) and Chandler (3 syllable). We definitely love the first two more then the third one. Further, the name brings more popularity among the ladies (this point will be covered in details in the subsequent sections).

2 Number of characters in the name

The number of letters in the name should be adequate (not more, not less..but adequate). Whats an adequate? Glad you asked…Well adequate is something which is like a knicker..not too short when it becomes hot pants/ undy or too long that it becomes a three-fourth. So is the case with the name…it should contain exactly the right number of letters…tht one could easily remember. Next question here is ..how many letter then?..Well..how many letters are there in your ATM pin…4..maximum 5 or 6..How many minimum characters are required when you set up a password to an e-mail account…6. I did some research to find out the length of names from a sample set of ~2500 boy names…The results are as follows:
Number of Characters Percentage of the total Sample
4 2%
5 9%
6 19%
7 19%
8 15%

Clearly, we should try to keep the length to a minimum till 5 or 6 (maximum).. Increase the length and the zone is going to be crowded with dudes all over. Now, lets see the same result from a sample set of girl names:
Number of Characters Percentage of the total Sample
4 5%
5 13%
6 27%
7 21%
8 14%

Clearly the difference is maximum if the length should not be more than six letters otherwise its just weird.

3 Starting alphabet of the name

Well if some pundit has provided an alphabet than we are bound to have a name starting with that letter. But if we are going random about it. Then probably we can put our brains to use here as well. The letter should be chosen in such a way that it provides the kid with high probability of being around girls ..like all the time..(yes I know you are thinking that I am a jackass ..but no child of mine or my friends’ will go through the torture that we all went through in our schools….ever again). Imagine him sitting in a class getting ready for attendance or in a lab where the partners are chosen on the basis of their roll nos. (decided by alphabet) or in an exam room where the sitting arrangement is as per the roll nos. or the sitting arrangement in daily class …the dude gotta feel jealous of his friend who has a name starting with a letter which brings that dude more chances of being next to/ before a girl’s name. I think you got my point. Then lets talk statistics here as well…

Boy Girl Difference
A 284 A 179 105
B 107 B 16 91
C 82 C 75 7
D 144 D 80 64
E 34 E 25 9
F 34 F 13 21
G 77 G 63 14
H 81 H 59 22
I 58 I 52 6
J 98 J 73 25
K 130 K 151 -21
L 26 L 36 -10
M 161 M 188 -27
N 138 N 96 42
O 18 O 7 11
P 196 P 112 84
Q 5 Q 2 3
R 127 R 102 25
S 387 S 397 -10
T 93 T 88 5
U 43 U 37 6
V 110 V 89 21
W 5 W 3 2
Y 30 Y 16 14

If you can see this, clearly, the letters S, M, L and J (these are the letter with more number of girl names as compared to boys) provides him better chances.
4 People should be able to pronounce it rightly in other countries – I am too tired to build up on this..so understand yourself…
5 Surname should compliment it..I have seen people not using surnames as they grow up …I have never understood this fully but lets not take this lightly…its a family name…we all are proud of our family

 

Our understanding from these points so far – It should either be a mono syllable or a 2 syllable name with not more not more than 6 letters and probably starting with S and easy to pronounce everywhere and is complimented by the surname. Now the file attached contains the list of all the 6 letter names starting with S (along with meaning). I have not got time to further filter these out on the basis of the number of syllables. But I think you can do the rest!!

Awesome Indian Things – Part 2

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5 months ago
by admin in

Astrologers who say that you are going to be  an engineer for sure but u end up being a English teacher

Haryana cost of buffalo: 18,000 – 24,000 Rupees Haryana cost of girl (human trafficking): 4000 Rupees

Speed breakers and Potholes make every ride in your vehicle a disney theme ride

The Holi, Diwali, Makar Sakranti, Durga Pooja, Janmashtmi and the list goes on …

Most favorite dialogue of Hindi Cinema “Main tumhaare bachche ki maa banane waali hoon…”

bargaining for 2 rupees from sabziwala but tipping 200 @ valet parking

In India we have two type of Indians “North Indians and South Indians”. Everything below Madhya Pradesh is for South Indians while above it is North India.

 

 

Awesome Indian Things

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7 months ago
by webmaster in

28 States, 7 Territories. 1618 languages, 6400 castes, 6 religions, 6 ethnic groups, 29 major festivals & 1 country!

In foreign countries, u can kiss in public, but can’t piss..in India u can’t kiss in public,but u can piss wherever

Saris : What’s sexy, modest, graceful, classic, cool, hot, well-ventilated and gorgeous all at the same time?

Jalebi: No Angrej has ever figured it out how the “Ras” went inside it.

SEX for INDIA will alwz be a “Dirty Thing”. Still we have 130 Crore Population…

Badly spelt menus. and hoardings, shop names, but still we speak better english than half of the western world.

Addressing hubby as “munni ke papa, Arrey Sunte Ho, Suno Ji, Suniye na”

No matter what, stop ur bike two feet after the stop line in a traffic signal and start off three secs before green

Mahabharata – longest poem in the world with 100000 stanzas..eight times longer than Homer’s two epics – combined

N.O.I.S.E. (Naturally Over Inflated Sense of Entitlement)

Ability to accept Pak’s immeasurable abuse and violence as fate.

Kumbh mela where most of the actors lost theri siblings

Checking the berth no on train chart before boarding your bogie to see if you are around young girls

One thousand ppl playing cricket in a single ground

Blaming  politicians when you trip over a stone or for any godamn thing happens in country

Films that are designed to make you sob like a toddler within 10 minutes.

Indian Home Game Series-2

0
7 months ago
by admin in

Poshampa bhai Poshampa:
Two people making a Gate structure and other kids make a line and pass through it… once the songs finished one of the person inside gate is taken and asked a question and accordingly decided n which team s/he goes. The song is very interesting it goes like this

Poshampa Bhai Poshampa
Char khilone kya kiya
Sau rupaye ki Ghadi churayi
Charane ki kulfi khayi
ab to Jail mein aana padega
Jain ka pani peenna padega

Ghora chala bhai
Players sits on the edge of a circle and one person moves around with a napkin in hand and singing the song “ghora chalaa bhai peeche dekhe maar khayi” . S/he plays the napkin behind any one person and tries to cover whole circle before that person finds out.

These are few more games which are much popular when it comes down to playing with COLONY kids.

1) Chupan chupai (hide and Seek)
One of the players is given a task of seeking other players without them touching him

2) Chor Police
Similar to Hide and Seek, but here the police will bring the other team to one place and after then they change sides

3) Kabbaddi
Traditional Indian game. Can be played with not more than 10 players. A rectangle area is divided into two halves and teams occupy each one. Then one person goes into other teams territory continuously saying “kabbadi”. He has to touch other team members and come again to his half without loosing breath and the other team has to hold him.

4) Kho Kho
Played with two 12 Players teams,one team(9 players) sits on ground between two poles and the other team sends three team members. The sitting team has to catch these players before time runs out.

5) Langdi Tang
In a defined area one person hops on one leg and try to catch all the other players.

6) Maar dhaad
Played with soft ball. The player who holds the ball can hit anyone who is playing the game.

7) Aankh Micholi
In a defined Area one player eyes are closed with handkerchief and s/he has to find other players.

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